Untying the Knot of Misinformation: Arizona's Top 10 Family Law Myths

Navigating the landscape of family law can feel like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube in the dark. It’s complex, emotionally charged, and everyone from your well-meaning aunt to your chatty barista seems to have an opinion often based more on television dramas than reality. In the Grand Canyon State, the rules governing divorce, custody, and property are unique. Relying on "common knowledge" can lead to costly mistakes and unnecessary heartache.

Let's clear the air and bust the ten most common myths about Arizona family law. Consider this your legal-eagle-approved field guide to separating fact from fiction.

(Disclaimer: This article provides information, not legal advice. Every case is unique, and you should consult with a qualified Arizona family law attorney for guidance on your specific situation.)

Myth #1: Mothers Automatically Get Custody of the Children.

The Myth: This is perhaps the oldest and most persistent myth in the family law playbook. The idea is that when parents split, the children, especially if they are young, will automatically be placed with their mother.

The Arizona Reality: Welcome to the 21st century. Arizona law threw this "tender years" doctrine out decades ago. The courts start with the presumption that it is in a child’s best interest to have "substantial, frequent, meaningful and continuing parenting time with both parents." The primary consideration is not the gender of the parent, but the best interests of the child.

The guiding statute, A.R.S. § 25-403, lists the factors a judge must consider. These include the child’s relationship with each parent, each parent's mental and physical health, which parent is more likely to allow a relationship with the other parent (a big one!), and the child's adjustment to home, school, and community. In Arizona, the terms are "legal decision-making" (the authority to make major life decisions) and "parenting time" (the schedule of when the child is with each parent). The goal is to create a stable, healthy environment, and the court will favor whichever parent, or combination of parents, can best provide that.

Myth #2: "Common Law Marriage" is a Thing in Arizona.

The Myth: If you live together for a certain number of years (usually quoted as seven), you are automatically considered married under common law.

The Arizona Reality: False. Arizona is not a common law marriage state. You can live with your partner for 50 years, share a bank account, and have a dozen children together, you will not be considered legally married unless you have obtained a marriage license and solemnized the union.

The crucial exception? Arizona will recognize a valid common law marriage legally established in another state that allows it (like Colorado or Texas). If you and your partner met all the requirements for a common law marriage in one of those states and then moved to Arizona, our courts will recognize your marriage. But you cannot create one from scratch within Arizona's borders.

Myth #3: All Property Gets Split Exactly 50/50.

The Myth: You take a calculator, add up everything you own, and divide by two. Simple, right?

The Arizona Reality: Almost, but not quite. Arizona is a community property state. This means that most assets and debts acquired during the marriage are presumed to be the joint property of the community. The law mandates an equitable division, not necessarily an equal one. While judges often aim for a substantially equal split, "equitable" means fair, and sometimes fairness requires an unequal division.

Furthermore, this only applies to community property. Any property you owned before the marriage, or received during the marriage as a gift or inheritance, is your sole and separate property, provided you didn't co-mingle it with community assets. Untangling what's community and what's separate is one of the most complex parts of an Arizona divorce.

Myth #4: The Person Who Cheated Gets Punished in the Divorce.

The Myth: If your spouse had an affair, the judge will surely see them as the "bad guy" and award you more property, the house, and sole custody as a punishment.

The Arizona Reality: Arizona is a "no-fault" divorce state. This means you do not have to prove that your spouse did something wrong to get a divorce. The only grounds needed are that the marriage is "irretrievably broken" with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.

Marital misconduct like adultery is generally irrelevant to how property is divided or how parenting time is allocated. The court is not there to punish moral failings. The major exception is if the misconduct directly harmed the community financially. For instance, if the cheating spouse spent thousands of dollars of community funds on their affair partner. In that case, the court might award the other spouse a greater share of the assets to compensate for that "waste." But the act of cheating itself? The court is largely unconcerned.

Myth #5: Alimony (Spousal Maintenance) is Automatic for the Lower-Earning Spouse.

The Myth: If one spouse was a stay-at-home parent or earned significantly less, they are automatically entitled to receive spousal maintenance after the divorce.

The Arizona Reality: In Arizona, it's called spousal maintenance, and it is never automatic. It is designed to be rehabilitative, helping a spouse get back on their feet, not to be a lifelong pension. A spouse must first prove they qualify for it under A.R.S. § 25-319. This involves showing they lack sufficient property to provide for their reasonable needs, are unable to be self-sufficient through employment, or contributed to the other spouse's education, among other factors.

Only after a spouse qualifies does the court decide the amount and duration. The court considers things like the standard of living during the marriage, the duration of the marriage, and the paying spouse’s ability to pay. It’s a two-step process, and a request for spousal maintenance can absolutely be denied.

Myth #6: A Child Can Decide Which Parent to Live With at Age 12.

The Myth: Once a child hits a certain magic age (12, 14, or 16 are often cited), they can tell the judge where they want to live, and that decision is final.

The Arizona Reality: There is no magic age. While A.R.S. § 25-403 requires the court to consider the child's wishes, this is just one of many factors. The weight the judge gives to the child’s preference depends heavily on the child’s age, maturity, and the reasons for their preference. A 16-year-old's well-reasoned desire to stay in their school district will carry far more weight than a 10-year-old's desire to live with the parent who has fewer rules and more video games. A judge will always filter the child's wishes through the lens of their best interests.

Myth #7: You Can Deny Parenting Time if Your Ex Doesn't Pay Child Support.

The Myth: If the other parent is behind on child support payments, you have the right to stop them from seeing the kids until they pay up.

The Arizona Reality: This is a huge, and illegal, mistake. In Arizona, child support and parenting time are two completely separate issues. The right to a relationship with a parent belongs to the child. You cannot legally withhold parenting time as leverage to enforce a child support order. Doing so can land you in serious trouble with the court, potentially leading to contempt charges and even a modification of the parenting plan in the other parent's favor. The proper remedy for unpaid support is to file an enforcement action with the court.

Myth #8: Moving Out of the Marital Home Means You've Abandoned Your Rights.

The Myth: A spouse who moves out of the family home during a separation has automatically forfeited their claim to the house and their right to custody of the children.

The Arizona Reality: This is a dangerous myth that keeps people in toxic living situations. Moving out of the house does not, by itself, equate to abandoning your financial interest in the property. It is still a community asset that will be divided in the divorce. Similarly, it doesn't mean you've abandoned your children. It is often wise to get temporary orders from the court that establish a parenting plan and dictate who will live in the home while the divorce is pending. This protects both parties and, most importantly, provides stability for the children.

Myth #9: A Legal Separation is Just a "Divorce-Lite."

The Myth: People often use the terms "legal separation" and "divorce" interchangeably, assuming they are more or less the same thing.

The Arizona Reality: They are legally distinct processes with a monumental difference. Both a legal separation and a divorce involve dividing all assets and debts, establishing a parenting plan, and setting orders for support. The process is virtually identical. The key difference is the outcome: at the end of a divorce, you are single. At the end of a legal separation, you are still legally married. People may choose separation for religious reasons, to maintain health insurance coverage for a spouse, or for tax purposes. It's not a trial run for divorce; it's a final decree that just happens to leave the marriage certificate intact.

Myth #10: You Can Save Money by Not Hiring a Lawyer.

The Myth: Family law is just paperwork. I can download the forms online, watch a few videos, and handle my divorce myself to save a ton of money.

The Arizona Reality: While it's possible to represent yourself (pro per), it's often a case of being "penny wise and pound foolish." Family law documents are legally binding contracts that will govern your finances and your relationship with your children for years to come. A poorly drafted decree can lead to missed assets (like a portion of a 401(k) or pension), unenforceable terms, and future litigation that costs far more than hiring a competent attorney from the start would have. An experienced Arizona family law attorney doesn't just fill out forms; they provide strategy, protect your rights, and help you see the long-term consequences of your decisions during an incredibly emotional time.

The world of Arizona family law is intricate. By understanding the reality behind these common myths, you can approach your situation with clarity and confidence, ensuring you make informed decisions for yourself and your family's future.